Stuff Rich People Love…

Dollars
Found a cool blog you lot need to check out entitled: Stuff Rich People Love. Every day or two the author, Chas Underwood III (Classic!), writes a new post about yet another item that rich folks want / need / obsess over.

The results are seriously funny, very true and makes one realise two things:
1. The rich are ever so slightly eccentric;
2. I need to win the lottery, so I can be eccentric too.

Here’s an example of one of the posts:

Rhinoplasty
Price: $8,000

Nose jobs are as common among the rich as coke addictions among strippers; everyone has had one or will get one soon. Rich people love plastic surgery and it is nose jobs that are most common. I know what you are thinking, what about liposuction, stomach stapling, tummy tucks, chemical peels, lip enhancement and breast jobs? All of these are important to rich people and they help reconstructive surgeons pay for lavish mansions, luxury cars and iridescent dress shirts that say I’m a dick with a fat wallet. While these procedures are the bread and butter of any good practice, the nose job plays the central role.

Rhinoplasty is a gateway procedure. Just like marijuana, weed, Mary Jane or grass will inevitably lead to heroine, acid, cocaine and meth addictions, nose jobs tell young girls that anything can be fixed by going under the knife. Once mommy and daddy give the nod to getting that unsightly bump removed from their little princess’ nose, it’s on. The flood gates open and there aren’t enough Dutchmen with fingers to plug the proverbial hole in the dyke. It all seems innocent enough at the time, after all, everyone is doing it and since the botox Mom looks happy all the time…it’s “like she can’t not smile!”

Some doctors will outline the risks and do a psychological assessment of their patient before loosing the anesthetic but they are called unemployed surgeons. Ask too many questions and patients will sashay down the street to a clinic where people in white coats make them feel good about themselves, not probe about “issues”. In fact, nose jobs are so prevalent and accepted that you can’t walk down Rodeo Drive in broad daylight without seeing newly bandaged noses. In as little as two hours, rich people improve their lives immensely and develop a renewed outlook and a sunny disposition for weeks to come. That is, until they notice an eyelid droops, one earlobe is lower and exercise is hard. Please daddy, just one more?!!

Go check it out: Stuff Rich People Love. I have spoken.

Oh, and by the way: wanna join the ranks of the rich to win a fortune, thereby allowing this guy to write about YOU? Then click here to get your lottery tickets. And if you win, you sooooo owe me an Aston Martin. Just a heads up.

2 thoughts on “Stuff Rich People Love…

  1. Bill Cheek

    Here’s a real-review:

    *The first 100 pages are about how her mother made her get a nose job that when wrong.
    *The second 100 pages are about the Frankenstein movie.
    *The last 90 pages are about every movie-star that’s ever gotten cosmetic surgery.

    And the whole thing is stitched together with an English teacher’s weekend theory on how a mix of Simulations and Simulacra The Ego and the Id explain why people get cosmetic surgery. If you’re someone who orders books online based on catchy titles, then do yourself a favor and skip this one. How can a book on cosmetic surgery not even talk about the golden ratio?

    Rating: 2 / 5

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  2. Hamster Cages

    not everyone would need a nose job but my girlfriend really needs some rhinoplasty coz her nose is kind of crooked ;’*

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